Subscriber Letter: Soul Deep Exhaustion

Dear Friend,

My mom is dying & the knowing is tearing me apart.

My grandma is 94 & I swear mom & her are racing to the finish line.

To know that I will lose both relatively close is a new kind of torture. They are my people, my only actual family other than my children.

My 15 year old got lost today, her phone died & I was an hour away. How does one Become so directionally challenged? Seriously HOW? Took her 3 1/2 hrs to walk home , I looked for her for an hour & then called non emergency. She's not missing , she is lost .... I said this 3 times. I drove every route I could think of and then poof I found her. It was the most nerve wracking 2 hrs of my life . With everything on my plate all I could do is hug her and thank god.

I need you, I need someone that just shows up or texts but no one does.

I'm tired in a way I didn't even know was possible…

It's soul deep exhaustion from surviving the last 20 months, & when I think that I then feel guilty because my mom is literally dying before my eyes .

I need to remember who I am.

Sincerely, B